


Breathe Me In (And Let Me Stay)

by carpesdiem



Category: Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5459354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpesdiem/pseuds/carpesdiem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Peter and MJ have their first dance. When MJ returns to New York after having moved away for college, things are a little tense between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe Me In (And Let Me Stay)

“Good to be home, huh?” MJ jokes, eyeing the cluttered mess now at his feet.

Peter glances back at her and laughs, crouching on his knees to find the spray he’d used all too often himself for sprained ankles. “It’d take a lot more than just a broken tube light and a messy cupboard - which not to mention, is my fault entirely - to make me hate this place.”

His fingers curl around the bottle as he wills his heart to stop beating so loudly because of obvious reasons. They’d been dancing, - which was hard enough for him to believe in the first place, but it had really happened - and MJ had tripped on his clumsy two left feet and hurt herself. Typical, he thinks, shuffling through the objects lying around him. But still, it was incredible to have her back, in spite of the awkward tension hanging in the air. He hears Mary Jane chuckle softly and gulps, now barely able to hear over the rushed metronome of his heartbeat in his ears. Turning around, he saunters back to where she’s seated, settling on the ground before uncapping the medicine. Avoiding looking into her wide doe eyes, he ignores all protests for her to do it for herself. “This room has seen my best and worst days, probably a lot more of the latter. It’s just, when I’m up here, listening to Aunt May work in the kitchen and all, it feels right, like I can never truly leave it. You know what I mean?”

Peter knew it was no time to be pouring his heart out, considering a lot of unwanted things would probably escape his lips with equal ease. But frankly, tonight, he didn’t care.

“I-I don’t really-” MJ whispers, drawing him out of his thoughts. A single tear drops onto the denim covering her thigh, and Peter immediately drops the bottle he is holding.

Worry blinds him for a second before he sits down next to her, his eyes widened in surprise. “MJ, what’s wrong?”

He watches her quickly wipe her cheek, shrinking into herself as another sob racks her body. It’s simply a reflex when his hands circle her shoulders, pulling her into him. She freezes for some long moments before giving in, her hand clutching onto the fabric of his shirt tight enough to make her knuckles go white. It’s been a while since she’s let herself be held. She gulps once or twice, shutting her eyes before answering, “I’ve never had- I haven’t really had a home like that.”

Peter’s heart shatters into pieces as he hears the strain in her voice, his hand gently stroking her hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No,” she mumbles all too fast, choking down another sob. “Y-Your voice is the closest I can get to home.”

When the atmosphere in the room grows heavy, she ceases to breathe. He can barely string together coherent thoughts at this point, but he shakily pulls away from her, his hands clumsily falling to his lap. The redhead refuses to look away from her fingers, flinching when she feels warmth on her cheek from his own. She bites her tongue to keep from pushing him away, allowing him to shift her head towards him, tears now running down the sides of her face undisturbed. Him finding out was her one greatest fear about returning home, and it was coming true. 

“Mary Jane?”

It is his voice that crumbles the daze she is in, making her do a lot of stupid things at the same time. She gasps, the realization of what she had just revealed slapping her in the face. Her mouth hangs open, and she squirms in his grip, but the stupidest of all, she meets his gaze. Peter’s eyes are so imploring, so sincere, she almost collapses into his arms again, but his fingers on the side of her face drag her back to reality. And here, she can’t move, she can’t speak, heck, she can barely even breathe. All that there is is Peter, and the stars in his eyes, and the distant memory of their hands entwined in the park three blocks away, and the crushing feeling that threatens to kill her right there.

“Why did you never tell me?” he whispers, silencing the thousand voices in her head that told her to get up and run.

A hollow laugh escapes her scratchy throat. “It wasn’t- it didn’t matter. I felt you pulling away from me each time we've been together since I came back, and that’s okay, I’m not blaming you for anything, Peter. It’s been years since we were close, and I wasn’t here when you needed me, so I understand why you don’t want to be friends. I distanced myself from everyone, and that included you, it’s my fault.”

His eyes were so cloudy with tears he could barely see her anymore, his fingers wet with her tears. “I would never- I didn’t know-”

“Yeah,” she must’ve smiled, since he hears a sad lift in her voice, “You weren’t meant to. I-I’m sorry. You have a great life and I never meant to intrude--”

If someone ever asked Peter if he was thinking at that moment, he’d probably fumble for a lie and joke that it was planned. But it wasn’t, not at all.

His lips crash into hers without any warning to either of them, his hands gripping the sides of her face like they were afraid she would slip away again. Tears press against his cheek, but he couldn’t be bothered by them when he feels his entire world stop spinning, his heart deafening him along with the butterflies that erupted inside him. He vaguely feels her pull away before he opens his eyes to see hers shut tightly, breathing heavily. The pain that seeps into his chest isn’t invited, but it causes him to stop moving. Feeling the last ray of hope being vanquished, he resignedly says, “I’m sorry. B-but, Mary Jane, you’re already in, don’t you get it? You’re not intruding, you belong here, I was just too scared to open my eyes to it.”

He is about to drop his hands, the walls that had crumbled to ruins soaring back up around him, the adrenaline momentarily drowning out the hurt. But then she is kissing him before he can blink, and the smell of her lavender perfume and the salty residue of their tears flood his senses, and he shuts his eyes as tightly as he can, feeling stardust settle inside him. And there is nothing, there is no one, but her. Her cherry lip balm, her fingers twining themselves around his neck, and her hair curtaining both their faces as she allows him to encircle her in his arms without any promises of ever letting go. There is air in his lungs, and it is her. She doesn’t steal his breath away, she provides him with a reason to breathe, and he doesn’t remember the last time that happened. He can practically see the red behind his eyelids when their lips unlock, a curl of her hair tickling his skin as he lets out a shaky laugh, opening his eyes to the most beautiful person he could ever imagine holding. Yet, here he was, with her, and for that moment, she was his, and he was hers - like their cracks had finally clicked into place.

**Author's Note:**

> title from the Jared & the Mill song. I just wanna say thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! This is indeed set after the dance mentioned in my other PeterMJ fic, and I hope it's not too random or anything. Let me know if you'd like me to build on the backstory and possibly write more, I'd love to see feedback of any sort :) - sandy xx


End file.
